My Spouse and I want a divorce but we don’t know where to start. Can we mediate on our own?

YES! I often mediate divorce cases where the parties want to ensure their divorce is done right, but don’t know how to go about it or exactly what terms should be in their final order.

In these cases, I am able to assist the parties in including everything that should be included in the mediated settlement agreement by law or for practical purposes and guide them toward an enforceable, comprehensive, settlement that they can feel confident moving forward with.

Does a Mediation Agreement divorce us?

A mediated settlement agreement does not grant your divorce by itself - the terms will still need to be incorporated into a final court order called a Divorce Decree and approved by a judge. A divorce requires the filing of a lawsuit and a granting of a final order.

Can we mediate before filing for divorce?

YES! You can mediate a divorce case before filing a suit for divorce or you can mediate once it’s filed. If you are able to reconcile your marriage and decide to stay together after entering into a presuit mediated settlement agreement, the mediation settlement agreements that I draft will become void after a period of time, so no further action would be necessary to revoke them.

Would we be better off having attorneys?

If you think you need attorneys, I always recommend hiring attorneys. That is something that I cannot answer for you. I do understand the expense is something that not everyone wishes to incur or is able to incur, however.

Can you give us legal advice?

I am an experienced attorney but I am not your attorney or your spouse’s attorney. I can give you my professional opinion and I may be able to tell you what a judge may do under particular circumstances and explain the procedural aspects of a matter, but I am not able to give either of you individual advice or tell you what you should do.

I will try to give you the information that you need to make a decision that is best for you, your children, and your future.

My Spouse is abusive. Can you help?

If you feel as if you are in physical danger or may be in danger in the future, I would strongly recommend contacting one of these organizations that may be better fit for your needs:

• AVDA

• Harris County Women’s Center

• Women’s Center of Montgomery County

• The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

• Harris County District Attorney’s Office

Can I send you information before the mediation that you don’t share with my spouse?

Absolutely! Each side is encouraged to send confidential information beforehand so I understand the background of the case and what is most important to each party. My confirmation letter includes forms you may fill out to make this task easier for you.

Do I have to see him/her during mediation?

NOPE! Typically each spouse is in a separate online “room” so each can speak their mind and confer with the mediator honestly without upsetting the other spouse. At no point will the parties see each other, even if there’s an agreement.

I also require that the parties are in different locations during the actual mediation - not in the same house, for example.

Who Pays for this? And How?

Normally each party will pay 50% but in cases where one side has limited resources, it’s very common for the earning spouse to cover 100% of the mediation. For your convenience, I accept various forms of payment including credit cards, online check, Zelle, Venmo and others.

Cancellation can be made without incurring any costs up to 3 business days prior to mediation.

What costs are involved with divorce?

Other than the mediation fee, someone will need to pay court fees for filing the suit and you will probably want a certified copy of the final order. If an attorney does the document drafting for you, then drafting costs which may be flat rate or by the hour.

Which Mediation Option Should we choose?

Please keep in mind that 4 or 6 or 8 hours may sound like a very long time but it goes VERY quickly and mediated settlement agreements in family law are fairly complex.

I offer several options for divorcing couples:

4 HOUR: Best for people with either only property issues or only children. Best for people with partial agreements or those that have discussed their final agreement at some length.

8 HOUR: Best for people who have property and children and need to discuss both or complex situations involving either. It’s also best for parties who have a lot of emotional turmoil or anxiety - I prefer parties not feel rushed into an agreement if at all possible.

6 HOUR: Best for cases that are probably 4 hour mediations, but you want to just be safe.

What is the difference between final orders and temporary orders?

A mediation on temporary orders results in a mediated settlement containing all the rules and obligations that the parties abide by while the case is pending such as temporary custody issues and who pays which bills. It will typically be turned into a Temporary Order and approved by the judge. Most parties with no attorneys choose to skip this step and jump straight to a final order.

A mediation on final orders results in a settlement agreement that will be incorporated into your Final Decree of Divorce, ending your divorce case.

What if we change our minds after a mediated settlement agreement?

This is a little tricky, but…

If ONE side changes their mind, they are stuck with it, essentially. You cannot revoke an MSA unilaterally. The other party can use the MSA to obtain a Divorce Decree without the other party’s consent or participation.

If BOTH sides change their minds, there are ways to alter the MSA. I would suggest an attorney at this point to make sure it’s done right.

Can I make my spouse mediate?

Mediation is a largely voluntary process and mediation before filing suit is entirely voluntary. That said, most courts require mediation before they will hear a final divorce case so mediation may be compelled by a judge. If your spouse will not mediate I would suggest speaking to an attorney. In order to book a mediation, you will need the agreement of the other party.

What happens after mediation?

After a successful mediation I highly recommend one party hire a licensed attorney to draft the final agreement. This is far less expensive than using legal counsel for the entire case, of course.

As much as I’d like to help, ethical rules as an attorney prevent me from assisting any further with this step. If requested, I can offer a list of names for lawyers who will accept this type of work, but you are free to hire whoever you like.